Between the Light and the Darkness - Chapter 20

His brain was suddenly calm. He floated in blackness for quite some time and gradually came to a meadow. It was a crisp clear day. Puffy clouds floated in a sapphire sky. Yellow daisies scattered the meadow floor, filling the air with a light fragrance. He breathed in the clean air, filled his lungs with it.

Timmy, he heard behind him. A lovely young lady, dressed a beautiful gown, stood by a small pond. A cluster of large trees with twisted trunks stood behind her. She looked angelic, peaceful. She spoke to him, but not with her mouth. Tim heard the words in his brain.

You're not supposed to be here, Timmy. It's not your time.

Gertie! She was alright!

I'm so sorry, Gertie. I'm sorry I hurt you...Tim thought to her.

Oh, Timmy. It wasn't your fault. It was time for me to move on. But not for you. You need to go back. Your job is not done. You've got to fight harder, Tim.

But, I'm so tired, Gertie.

I know, dear, but Ileeya needs you.

Ileeya! What will happen to her?

Well, she'll be just fine, but only with your help. You don't belong here with me yet, Tim. You don't belong here for a long time. And if you play your cards right, it'll be years and years before I see you again; and that would be just fine with me. But first you have fight Shirra's hold on you. You're almost there, Timmy. Hurry on now, dear. Before Ileeya gives up on you.

In a flash she was gone, and he was floating through blackness again. In the distance, he heard soft crying. It sounded mournful, the crying of someone who has lost something important. The sound gradually got louder and he had the sensation of his upper body being held and rocked.

He awoke to Ileeya's pain-stricken face, wet with fresh tears. His angel. She didn't see him open his eyes at first, and he wondered what was wrong. Why was she rocking him? Was he sick?

He stirred and she jumped in surprise and looked down at him."Tim!" she shouted. "You're alive!"

Alive? What had he been before? He wasn't...Then he remembered Gertie and the meadow. It wasn't just a meadow, it must have been the other side. Gertie said it wasn't his time yet. He had died. That's why Ileeya was sobbing. Over him.

Everything came crashing down on him in huge waves. He had to fight not to get washed away with the sudden onslaught of memories. He viewed the last several months of his life on fast forward. His arrival here, his interview with the king, the first time he met Ileeya, his fight with Aark, his horrid nightmares, his first viewing of Jondak.

The memories sped up even faster and he started to sweat. That first pang of jealousy when he saw Jondak sitting with Ileeya in the dining hall, the first time in the courtyard during practice, when he realized he was in love with Ileeya, the way her face looked when she was sitting next to him that day, when Ileeya told him that real weapons were used in the Grand Tournament.

Faster and faster they came. Jondak's lurid vision as they shook hands outside the Grand Tournament arena, Slogg's horror stricken face as he died at Tim's feet, the first time he kissed Ileeya during the month of rest, confronting Ileeya about her past.

The memories sped up even more, they were bombarding him, now. Shirra, masquerading as Ileeya in the confinement cell, Shirra, almost making him believe she was innocent and Ileeya was to blame for the accident so many years ago, Shirra's memory erasure ritual; he felt sick now. Being completely under Shirra's control, what they had done in her bed chamber.

He tasted bile at the back of his throat. Shirra occupying his every thought after he came back to the prison, seeing Ileeya and not knowing her, not even remembering her, hearing the news of Gertie's death, and dying himself, only to wake up here, with Ileeya mourning him.

With great effort, he choked back the bile and managed not to vomit. He was shaking and sweating profusely. His muscles screamed in agony. His throat was dry and his tongue felt like it was covered with fuzz. Coming back from the dead was hard work.

"Ileeya...I'm sorry for earlier," he choked the words out.

"Tim, what happened to you?

"You've acted so strange when you came back to the cell tonight, you acted like you didn't know me. That really hurt. Then you started screaming and holding your head, banging it against the wall. Then you went into a coma...and...and then...," fresh tears started streaming down her face. "I thought I lost you. I was so worried."

He hugged Ileeya tight to him. He clung to her like she would be ripped from his grasp any second. He didn't want to let go. He didn't want to tell her all the things he was going to have to tell her. He savored the moment, the way she felt, holding him, at just this moment. He tried to stuff this memory deep into a pocket at the back of his brain so he could never forget it.

Finally, he pulled back and held her hand. He looked into the liquid depths of her blue eyes and took a deep breath.

"Ileeya," he began, "whatever happens from here on out, know that I love you. I have loved you from the first day in the courtyard, hell, from the moment I first saw you, and that will never change."

"What is it?"

He took another deep breath. "Shirra is alive."

She gasped and covered her face with her hands. "No, Tim, it can't be."

Tim told her everything that had happened with Shirra since he had been sent to the confinement cell. He also told her of Jondak's involvement, and what had happened to Gertie. He thought about leaving out the part about what happened after Shirra's successful ritual, but decided if he were ever to have a future with Ileeya he had to be honest from the start.

"I'm sorry, Ileeya. I feel as if I've been unfaithful to you. Please forgive me."

"No, Tim," it wasn't your fault. Shirra deceived you. More than once. And you weren't the first man she's mind washed. I'm not really that surprised that Jondak is involved in this, somehow. He's such a double crossing bastard."

The cell door opened and the dried meat and water pitcher was placed inside.

"Ileeya, was there any truth to what Shirra said about you and Jondak being together?"

"No. Jondak has relentlessly pursued me since he came here four years ago. At first I resisted, even went as far as pushing him away from me. Such a black look came into his eyes. It scared me. I reached out to help him up, and when I grabbed his hand, I saw a horrible vision of him...doing things to me..., and he had this strange smile on his face..." she shuddered at the thought, "anyway, I became so frightened that I decided the best way to handle him was to be polite, to give him the impression that I wasn't rejecting him."

"I don't get it, Ileeya," Tim said as he retrieved 'dinner.' " You're so much stronger than him. You don't have to put up with this."

"What do you mean?"

"Gertie said you had very strong mental powers, you just didn't realize it."

"With all due respect to your Gertie, she didn't even know me. How could she possibly know anything about me?"

"She said that you created the portal." Tim said, "That you brought me here to help you."

"Tim, do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? It was just a dream."

"All the other dreams I've had since I've been here have had some truth to them. Why not this one?"

"It just sounds so far fetched," Ileeya said."

"Have you tried, you know, doing things with your mind?"

"Well, no. I guess I've never tried anything like that before."

"Here," Tim said, tossing a scrap of the meat on the floor. "See if you can move this."

Ileeya stared at the scrap and willed it to move. Nothing happened.

"Try again," Tim said. "Picture it moving in your head."

Ileeya did. Nothing happened.

"This is a waste of time, Tim. I think your dream is wrong."

"No. I don't think so. Gertie said you brought me here. But you weren't even aware of it. Maybe you're just trying too hard."

"I don't think I have any powers. That's just plain silly."

"Okay. Maybe we'll talk more about it tomorrow."

"I think you're crazy," Ileeya said.

"Crazy about you, maybe," he gave her a mischievous smile as he pulled her to him. She smiled and moved in for a kiss. Tim wrapped his arms around her and just held her.

"I'm so glad I'm here with you," Tim said to her.

"Me too, Tim."

Ileeya pulled back. "Tim, we have to be very careful during the days. We can't let Jondak see that my sister has failed to dominate you. If he becomes suspicious, then I'm sure he won't hesitate to tell her."

Tim didn't like that idea, that meant he would have to tolerate Jondak sitting with Ileeya in the dining hall everyday and pretend he didn't care. Then he thought of something else. Make her think you're bending to her will, do what it takes...

"Ileeya..."

"I know what you're thinking, Tim. You can't let Shirra know she's failed. I'm not crazy about you tumbling back into bed with my sister, but I don't see any way around it."

"I don't know if I can do it," Tim said, feeling queasy.

"You have to. We can't let her find out."

"How long will I have to do this? Do whatever she wants?"

"I don't, Tim. I don't know."

Make her think you're bending to her will, do what it takes. When the time is right, you can strike.